Where I belong

We all must reached that one point in life where we seriously had no idea what to do or where to go. Should I follow my heart or should I do what’s convenient at the moment ? Some people follow other people because they did not know what to do at the moment, but I chose to simply try a lot of different things. There are a lot of problems in my life that most people don’t know about and I don’t have the time to kiss and tell, that is when the “judgement” and the “gossip” start, which I could not care less. This blog is like my open diary.

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If you have followed me or if you really know me for a long time, you’d know how much I love to cook, and I’ve encountered a lot of problems along the way. Kumara Batik is the online batik company I have tried to build but it was discontinued earlier this year. I traveled to the small villages in search of the high quality and authentic Indonesian Batik Tulis (hand-drawn batik). I love my culture and I would love Batik to be famous and known in the world one day. However, I don’t feel this is the time yet. I couldn’t feel the spark that I once had.

Not until I start to go back into the kitchen, and remember that my best friend once said to me to “not try too hard, try making something simple, back to basic and gain that passion back”. That is exactly what I did, and amazing things happened.

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My @nanacakeboutique online cake business on instagram which I built almost two years ago is growing faster than ever. I can feel the excitement again. I have a website for my business ,click here. I think it’s important to try a lot of things in life because the things you liked the most now might not be the same two,five or ten years later, or maybe it might be the same. Trying different things in life like working in an office as an administrator or trying to go into trading business open my eyes and my heart to many possibilities and opportunities that I could have grabbed, I just have to choose one path, and the best path for my life.

Many people would say “If I were you, I would do this and that” but no they won’t, because they are NOT you. They don’t feel what you feel ,they don’t think like you think and they definitely do not have the same experience as you do. I believe if I want to be successful I have to be myself and not trying to be someone else, I have to be a strong confident woman who sometimes just doesn’t give a damn about what other people think. This is my life journey, whether I make it to the top, just in the middle or if I fall, the one who’s going to feel it the most is me. So I have decided, the only way I want to reach the top is to be where I really belong. Even after trying a lot of different things, my heart does not change one bit because once you love, you’d never forget.

A Time Machine

I know most people wanted to turn back the time and changed everything that they thought they’ve done wrong, but is that really what they want?

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I haven’t really updated this site since late 2015 and my readers have probably already gone but that’s okay, I’m not writing to gain readers really although it makes me happy if I could help them by sharing my life story. The truth is I did stop cooking for a while and work at my dad’s company.As you probably have known I have run my cake business for more than a year. I stopped in January because it drove me crazy, I was not satisfied with any achievement that I could get, no matter how big it is. Most of you guys would probably know this feeling. People would look at you and say that you’ve done a great job and what an effort ! However you were just like, “meh..”, because you were expecting so much more, because you set your goal way too high in such a little time and end up disappointing yourself.

I’ve learned a lot in 2015.

That running your start up business alone is not a piece of cake

That the power of passion is one of the keys to success

Appreciate every little step you take because you have a courage to take that step

Learn from your mistakes because that’s when you grow

What everybody said to you is not always right

But listen to them because listening is learning

Many people will tell you what kind of person you are but you know deep down that you know yourself better than anybody.

I have lost so many opportunities doing stupid things and yet people often said to me, “Oh What the hell, you’re still young..” It’s as if they think it’s okay to do stupid things, to fail or to slow down at this age. When I look at myself in the mirror, at this age I saw it more as an opportunity to try better things, age doesn’t even make any changes in this case. I’ve had classmates twice my age, it’s never too old to learn and it’s never too young to try to get bigger and better things in life. Why would you waste your time if you’ve had the chance to get it now ?

I have resigned from my father’s company and I have a new project coming up. I started taking cake orders on my free time. Looking for that passion back deep in your heart because if it really is a passion, you can’t really throw that away and you wouldn’t want to, sometimes it’s just buried deep inside your heart.

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Sometimes I just look back to 7 years ago when I was still dreaming to go to culinary school. How scary it used to sound, and I look back to 2 years ago when I finished my Diploma with 3 Certificates on my hand during the graduation, for the first time in my life, the chefs were putting a tall white chef’s hat on my head, like the one you’ve seen on TV and 2 silver medals and 1 gold medal from Le Cordon Bleu. What a great memories right ? and then 2015, is definitely not a good year for me. I broke down and you know the rest of the story. So, if I could turn back the time, would I do things differently ?

I would say no, because when people say “I would do things differently” that means they have learned their lessons, they have realized what mistakes they have made. You shouldn’t turn back the time to change that, you should change your future with what you’ve learned from that mistake. So, no, I will not change anything because if I did, I will not learn HOW to appreciate or WHY I should fight for my passion. Make mistakes while you’re young, I agree with that one but don’t do it intentionally. I will keep fighting for something that I love because as I said before in the past, love is always worth fighting for. There’s always ups and down in life ,hopefully this is my turning point. One thing for sure I wouldn’t want to use, is a time machine.

Life Journey

I’ve always talked about my culinary journey. How about my life journey ? What leads me to this awesome culinary adventure ? What my life was like before cooking ? People always judge me without even knowing the story of my life, or even worse when they judge me without even knowing me in person, but that’s just how people are.

 
I was born on 4th August 1996 in a very traditional home. Both my parents were bankers but since 1994 my mom has been dedicating her life to take care of my brother and me. I didn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth, I had limited toys to play with, my dad traveled all the time and he did not have time to spend with his kids. However, if he didn’t do what he did, I would not be able to do all these things that I want to do now. When I was 13 years old I moved to Singapore and finished my high school there and got my O level certificate. I continued my studies to Melbourne, Australia for about 6 months. My relationship with my family was getting worse, I didn’t even miss my dad at that time. I moved again to Wellington,New Zealand for about a year and finished my diploma. I moved back to Indonesia and created Nana Cake Boutique.

When people read this, most people will think “everything always goes right in her life”, “she has got everything she needs”. What people don’t know is the struggle behind every story. People think that it’s nice to study abroad and move from one place to another, travel the world, but the truth is you get lonely. You moved so much you don’t even know your friends anymore. It’s also not easy to adapt with new people and new environment. When you get used to it, you had to move back home again, and you had to adapt AGAIN. So it’s not as easy as you think. Things don’t always go your way but you just had to make it work somehow and people didn’t know the struggle behind it all. So be thankful with what you have and where you are now. If you told me that your life is bad, that’s because you make it bad. Life is full of choices, whether you’re happy or sad that’s because of the choices you make. If you chose to be happy, you will be. If you chose to be sad and you wanted people to pitty you and listen to why your life falls apart, then you will be.

Moon and Stars

@nanacakeboutique on Instagram

  

 

It has been a few months since I started selling cakes online. There were ups and downs, of course. Sometimes when I saw other professional chefs I got scared, I lost my confidence. The business itself wasn’t in my plan at first. I’m young, I still want to learn a lot more but not everything you want could be bought with money. People keep telling me that I’m young, that I still have a lot of time, that it’s easier for me to learn stuff. However, I think they’re wrong, even if you’re young, does not mean you can just relax, does not mean you learn better, I think someone learns better when there’s willingness, when there’s passion. 

I’ve been selling typical indonesian cakes and they are totally different from french patisserie. Sometimes I felt that the skills that I’ve learned before are just useless because I no longer used them. I was really upset but I know not everything goes as plan and you just have to make the best out of it. I started looking for ingredients and equipments for french patisserie (really difficult to find). I made an entremet, my favourite dish when I was in school. It felt amazing and I fell in love with it all over again. 

   

   

One day one of my loyal customers ordered a Valrhona Opera Cake. It has so many memories, it was indescribable. When I made it, it reminded me of the reasons why I did all of these, I love to cook, it’s my forever love. I realize I have to fight my fear of other people’s capability of creating things that are so much better me. Do what you can do best and keep learning. A dream is like the moon and the stars. Many people know it exists but not many people believe that they could actually get there, not many people are willing to work that hard to get there. In the past people would think that it’s not possible to reach the moon, but eventually people found a way to get there and actually landed on the moon, now the impossible becomes possible. I’m here believing that I would get there someday, I would try my very best and if I didn’t reach it, that’s okay too,I know something better would come along to those who work hard enough for their dreams. Now I really understand what “nothing is impossible” means.